In addition, when paraphrasing, You can find out how has well been listening. As soon as the person has stopped speaking, she says: " What I have understood than You you have said you are " and then it repeats what You simply have understood. Such " controls of realidad" they are more important when You are treating an emotional subject, for example when a subordinate to char it with You on a problem with a fellow worker. The emotion tends to make the less clear person. On You you depend to make sure that it is receiving the true message of the other person. In such occasions, it could ask, " He is this what You are trying to say to me? " and refrasee what You think that the person is trying to say. Then, by his answer, she asegrese that You have interpreted what has been said by the person correctly. By means of these questions, You also obtain that the other person gives to You the elaborations him, corrections and adjustments the expressed thing, that they can, sometimes, to make a difference very important.
A way to prove its progress in this aspect, is to record its telephone conversations. Vulvalas to hear and writes down frequently You how you did you ask and refrase what the other person said. Conquiste the fear of silence. The impulse to fill a silence can be almost irresistible. It is better not to speak immediately after a silence takes place, without mattering what the other person has said. Even though a question has done him for which You have a ready answer, she tmese a little while to think.
If the other part stops speaking, begins to count and mantngase doing it until she returns to speak. One does not hurry to fill silence. It acquires the practice to make pauses when speaking, that allows to think him, to analyze the situation, to pay attention to the tone of voice of the other person, to appreciate the things that can be different than You had anticipated, all of which will allow to listen better and to give better answers him.